It’s been a rough week with some odd occurrences with my weight. This past Sunday was the end of the weight loss competition that my friends hosted. Each weigh in was a slight drop for me. Except for the last weigh in.
I always weight myself before I go in to prepare myself for what’s to come. My scale NEVER matches their scale and theirs always happened to be 4 pounds lighter on the average. This time, the result was identical and shocking. 211.
What. The. Heck.
I never wanted to be there again. But, here I am, so I’m back on a strict diet to bring myself back down. To be honest, my diet has been crap the past few weeks, but not as worse as when my parents visited a few weeks back. Stress has certainly got to me and I eat for comfort. With the new pup terrorizing me and keeping me up at night…and the drama with my car..it all took its toll on me. Even after the weight loss, that’s still the issue that needs to be addressed. I need to develop better coping mechanisms for stress.
An obvious way is to go work out. The funny thing is, I’ve been going to the gym every day after work. I’ve gone running, running in the mountains, and even completed the mud run last week. My physical fitness is improving. My muscles (particularly my arms) are becoming more visible. Is some of the gain muscle mass, yes. But not all of it. My choices resulted in that number on the scale. The weight loss group did before and after pictures and I definitely think I look “better” in the after pictures due to muscle tone and body composition. I’m holding myself accountable here, but I’m not going to beat myself up. It does nothing but delay further progress.
This Saturday is another 5k. This time, it’s part of Phoenix Pride. I’m excited to do this one and I’m even more excited to go to Pride again. Always love seeing all the people.
But, back on topic… I don’t think working out is a way for me to reduce my stress. Where I see myself lacking right now is with my social relationships. While I’m fairly open with my friends, I rarely ever make myself emotionally known to my friends. I can’t really think of many times a friend has seen me to the point of crying. Always thought that friends are for sharing my good times, but not my struggles and stresses. So, I’m going to slowly work in changing that.
I’ve been giving some serious thought to completing my PhD program. Seeing so many of my friends complete it has inspired me. But, that’s also opening the door to a lot of stress that would potentially not be good for me. Do I want the PhD for the right reason? I don’t think so.
I just feel stuck.
Keep eating better. Keep going to the gym. Keep being active in your spare time. It’ll be worth it.