Posts Tagged With: Gay

WTB Sleep!

Howdy interwebs!
Weekend was a bit if a blur, so I’ll try and make some sense of it this morning.

First things first: left the phone at home this morning. Feeling awkward without it..like part of me is missing. Also a little panicked that if an emergency happens, I’m a bit screwed. My phone is also my wallet. Wallet has gym ID. Looks like tonight is a good night for Zumba or a run. I’m thinking Zumba because I still need to work on moving these hips. They’re in there somewhere!

Friday night:
My buddy Kim and I decided to tag along with Nelson to First Fridays. It’s kind of a huge art show each month in Phoenix. I was going to purchase something, but nothing truly looked “hand crafted.” I hate being ripped off. After walking around for a bit, we decide to head to a local gay bar.

I’d been to this one before, and it was as busy as always. Side note, it is odd seeing youtube video owners who you have followed for years in person. Almost like seeing a mini celebrity. Anywho…this one guy walks past me and I he was tall, older, and not really my type. A few moments later, this woman approaches me and said that guy was checking me out. She then reaches into her woven basket and proceeds to give me a rock with the word “truth” written on it with a link to a web page. She was trying to spread kindness. She then mentions that the guy that walked by was her friend and he had said that I was completely his type. So, I agree to meet him and it turns out they belong to a church and this rock was her final project. Only a little creepy, but a little sweet. He asks for my number, and I’m trying to make some new buddies, so I give it to him. Turns out he has a daughter, too. Interesting things happen at bars.

A few pictures from the night.

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We head over to another bar and just hang out for a bit. I still wish I could dance/didn’t care what other people thought of me. Before the weight loss, I used to do everything possible to ensure that I would not draw attention to myself. Some of that still exists.

Saturday:
Actually had a date on Saturday. We met up to go see the Evil Dead. I LOVE horror movies, but still watch them from behind my hands. We meet up and the conversation is nice enough. It was still a bit early, so we walk around the mall a bit. This one store was a LoveSac store. Oh my! Those things were super comfy! I’m seriously considering getting one for my home. While sitting and chatting with the store clerk, she asks if we are on a date. Am I that obvious? Lol. The date responds that it is a date, so I suppose that’s positive points for me.

After the movie we head to Fez for lunch. The conversation went well enough. Just used those counseling listening skills to good use. He did comment that he felt like he did a lot of the talking though. I need to assert myself more then.

Later that night, I go out for Karaoke with another group of friends. The usual karaoke bar isn’t doing karaoke that night, so we switch to another that is. I still don’t sing on the mic, but it’s fun to sing along with everyone else.

Sunday:
Took Leo to the groomer. He had an 830 appointment and I didn’t get him back until 230. Very sad. He looks so cute now, tho. Saw Iron Man 3 with a buddy and then went home.

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All in all, not the best weekend for the diet and weight loss, but a good weekend for me and enjoying life. It certainly bears staying in and playing video games.

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Yesterday was good!

Yesterday was a good one for the diet and exercise. It was the first “perfect” day in, well….months.

Shake for breakfast
Shake for lunch
Lean Cuisine for Dinner
Two 100 calorie bags of popcorn as snacks

Usually, I would stop in and get some pop chips…or go out for dinner with a friend. Nothing wrong with that and I’m able to maintain…but I wasn’t losing. In looking at my goals, I can still reach my monthly goal, but I need to do daily goals along with it.

Today’s goal: repeat a perfect diet day.
So far, so good!

Made it out to the gym last night after work. Did some weights exercises (I’m starting to lift more!) and 30 minutes of elliptical work(353 calories). Today is a Zumba day. I’m going to do an easy work out for 40 minutes today. Maybe the easy version will take things just a little bit slower!

In other news, I’ve started reading a book. Boyfriend 101. It’s kind of like a gay guy’s guide to dating. Mostly, I’m looking to work on myself. So far, it has proven interesting, but it really isn’t much that I haven’t heard before. Listing my wants and needs across different areas. The funny thing was an entire chapter about small talk. Surprise, surprise…they talked about counseling skills. I’ve mostly avoided actively using them because I’ve wanted to avoid “playing shrink” to people. Perhaps I’ll give it a try and see how it works.

I’ve had to be really honest about my efforts. Am I surrounding myself with people who are single and available? No. Bars aren’t the place to do it either. I need to get out there more. This weekend, I think I’m going to go hang out with the Open Doors group and see how it goes. It’ll be a chance to practice small talk and to use those skills of mine.

More updates soon!

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Surprising Myself

Today, I surprised myself.

Met a guy online in the past few days and he seems just a bit different than most. Intelligent, well mannered, educated, employed, and goal oriented. Cute, too. So, after chatting for a few days, it turns out he is looking to get more in shape, too. I suggest being work out buddies and he actually took me up on the offer and wanted to meet after work to work out. Surprise, he uses the same gym, but has never actually made use of his membership. He has just started talking with someone else in terms of dating, so that one seems like a no go, but it is wonderful to have such a good buddy.

He took a little bit of coaxing to come out and meet me when it was actually time to make it happen. Apparently, finding something to wear to the gym is a stressful experience. Like many people, myself included, the thought of how one looks often scares people away from working on themselves. Thankfully, he got over it and was only 30 minutes late.

In the meantime, I had my personal training consultation. My trainer is so young, but he seems to know what he’s talking about for the most part. I told him about this pinch in my shoulder when I had been running for an extended period of time and he immediately knew it was one of my arteries in my neck. I need to research that for accuracy, but it’s great to be able to throw him something and get an answer. The consultation only took 10 minutes and we are looking to start next week. More to come on that one!

As I sat in the lobby and waited for the new guy, I surprised myself by getting off the couch and getting active while I waited. I went to do some upper body weight lifting (curls, ab work, rowing, the fly machine). I started on the bike for about 10 minutes before deciding to go back down and sit down. After seeing that he was finally going to come out, I got back off the couch once more and started just walking laps around the outside track. No progress unless you’re actually moving, no?

He finally arrives on my third lap and walks a lap with me before suggesting we jog a lap. We start to take off and he can actually keep up with me. This guy is absolutely gorgeous, too. He’s taller than me (I’m 6 feet tall) and has a nice deep voice. We are about the same shape and size, but he seems to be more “in shape” than I am (toned). After a lap, I suggest we go inside. We head up to the elliptical and both hop on. I thought he would only last for 30 minutes, but we end up doing the whole hour while just chatting away. His heart rate was getting a bit high (180+) so he eventually slowed himself down. After the hour, we treated ourselves to a small pizza at Spinatos. Well earned, in my book!  He ended up paying, too. Surprised me as I didn’t think it was a date, but maybe he was just being nice? Who knows, but we have plans for next Thursday after my parents leave town.

They get here tonight. I’m planning on taking them hiking, paddle boating, and to the Renn. Festival. Lots of physical activity to counteract the incoming increase of food. We also may be getting a playmate for Leo. Stay tuned!

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One Day Left

One more day. One more day. One more day!

There’s only one more day left of Insanity and I could not be happier. The past few days have been a but rough with dinner, but I’m slowly improving in my selections when out with friends. I’m learning that it is actually ok to treat yourself to a meal out, but that you compensate in your other meals. I big lunch may necessitate a light dinner.

To treat myself for concluding Insanity, Stephen is taking me on an 8 hour long hike. I’m super excited for it, but kind of scared because I heard that we could get lost! Oh noes! If you don’t hear from me after Saturday, please know that I’ve become one with the mountain people. This is how you should reward yourself…take an adventure!

So, the line dancer came over last night. I cooked some whole wheat pasta with chicken sausage. Of course we had salad and bread, too. I’m learning that you can be okay with a piece of bread instead of eating 4 to 5 pieces. Still have lessons to learn in portion control, but I’m working on it.

After dinner, he taught me some basics to line dancing. As anticipated, I have two left feet. Eventually, I got the moves, but it just seems awkward. Practice makes perfect? After running the routine for a bit, we caught the New Normal. I’m glad to see this show back to having new episodes. Very special show for me. It’s almost exactly what I want for my own life.

I took the gent out back to swing in the hammock for a bit. Even in Arizona, it gets cold at night! I couldn’t stop shivering! He did his best to keep me warm, but we eventually had to go back inside to warm up by my fake fire.

I’m excited for my future.

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All’s Well That Ends Well

Yesterday started out a bit rough. The night before, I had Nelson over for our Sunday tradition of The Walking Dead and dinner. While we were out, my little joy of a monster, Leo, decided to munch on Nelson’s Mac power cord.

Thankfully, Nelson and I were able to find a refurbished one for only 60 bucks. The joys of owning a puppy! Having that over my head caused the day to be a bit stressful. Thankfully, my finances are in a good place and I could swing it!

This past weekend, at the bar, Tim briefly talked to a guy and I wasn’t paying attention at all. Turns out, this guy and I had been talking for quite a while online. We caught up online later that night and finally realized that we had indeed seen each other. Even called me cute!

We decided to do dinner in between the two of us and suggested this place called Islands. I love this place. Heavy on surf and beach culture. Reminded me of home. Sadly, he got there before me. Usually, I’m freakishly early for everything. He beat me at my own game!

The conversation flowed well enough. I loved his enthusiasm for his hobbies and life aspirations. It was infectious to see him become so excited while talking about his life. We stayed at the restaurant for about three hours. Just felt nice and not forced. He paid for dinner and I totally wasn’t expecting that. Felt a bit special.

Outside. We spent a few minutes looking at the stars and we saw Jupiter out by the moon. We recognized it due to handy sky map apps. Nerds. Walked him to his car and gave him a good long hug and a quick smooch. Hope he didn’t mind!

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What a nice weekend!

Sorry for the delay in writing everyone! I’ve been a bit busy with all of these activities.

I’m two days into the last week of Insanity. Having the end in sight certainly helps give me some motivation to complete the program. At the end of the day on Thursday, I will be done with this program. I’m definitely seeing results in my arms, but I still have a bit more chub to lose on my mid section before I can see muscles down there. With the end in sight, my next venture is always on my mind.

Instead of the gym, I’m going to purchase some home gym equipment so that I can work out at home with weights. I can do this while watching my shows and not fall behind in exercise. It’ll seem like I have my life back!

So, about this past weekend. My parents sent me some chocolate for the holiday. I did have about 1/3 of the box before making the decision that the costs outweighed the benefits. No more chocolates. Friday, after work, Tim and I went to see a movie and had dinner. Fair warning, this was not a good weekend for food. I had bruschetta, some guacamole, and half of a cookie/ice cream dessert. We watched Identity Thief and it was decent, but unlike I had expected. The movie just got a bit serious for its own good.

The next day was the gay rodeo. This year returned the rodeo to Laveen and I was excited for it to be close to my house. I grabbed Tim and Stephen and we all went after brunch. I behaved at brunch by having a grilled chicken pesto sandwich with a salad and muffin. The rodeo was awesome for me. There were so many neat people there! While I’m not a fan of some of the events, I still managed to have a great time. I even got called cute by a few people…score.

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After the rodeo, my group headed for dinner. This was not pretty, but the chicken strips were super delicious. This is where I had a heart to heart with myself. When I am happy in life, I tend to forget what I’m putting into my body. It becomes a “why not” mentality that I’m sure we are all familiar with, my journey is not done and while I will occasionally enjoy myself, every bad choice just moves me further from my goals.

After dinner, the group headed to the local bar that is closely associated with the Rodeo. I had no idea that the bar would eventually become as packed as it did. It was great when we first arrived. The group watched the line dancers and I even got to meet a few of them! One guy offered to dance, but I didn’t know how (to dance..at all…any style), so I shied away even though he was really cute! I should have had some courage to ask him if he would show me how.

Met up with a buddy at the bar (saw him at the rodeo, too). Our little group of four talked and played around for hours. Even though the place was packed, I didn’t let my anxiety get the better of me. I was there with friends and loved every minute of it. My buddy even let me try on his cowboy hat! Good look for me?

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This morning was the weight loss challenge groups first weigh in. I was nervous due to my eating frenzy this past weekend, but my number surprised me and I was still down about 3 pounds from the first time. Not celebrating too hard, but a victory is a victory!

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Bears

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Image by wallyg from Everystockphoto
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.5/

Bears

Bears are interesting creatures. In the gay world, they are bigger and stockier guys typically with a lot of body hair. There are even dating websites and mobile apps for bears and the guys that like them to find each other.

I was on my way to becoming a bear. The purpose of this post is not to describe this community, but to highlight an issue that I have noticed recently.

When I was bigger, I often thought of resigning myself to the idea of finding a guy that liked bigger guys. These guys are labeled chasers. This mindset still exists within me. I still see myself as a bigger guy in need of a chaser. Suppose I still have a bit of a distorted body image.

In recent months, I’ve started including bits about my weight loss in my online profiles. Almost every day I get comments from bears wanting to know how I did it. While I am happy to share my story, part of me wonders what is going on through their lives. Are they like me? Wanting to lose weight, but resigning themselves to hoping to find someone likes them as a bigger guy?

Back in my undergraduate years, one lesson that stuck with me was learned helplessness. A condition where we give up and accept our current circumstances even if a way out has presented itself. Is this what people are feeling? Change is always possible, and we should strive to be happy with what we have in life. However, we should keep moving toward health.

Just some random thoughts.

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Where I’ve Been

Hey All!

Sorry for not updating in the past month. A lot had happened and this got put off to the side. I’m going to try and start updating a bit more.

The school year has started and things are going full steam. I’m making progress towards planning next year’s freshmen camp and it’s looking to be better than ever. As soon as contracts are done, I’ll share some more information.

In late September, we had the annual Academic Advising Symposium. It was a unique experience presenting twice and running the conference. Thankfully, all went well and the conference was well received by the advisors. We are already planning for next year’s conference. Now, the office is planning for an upcoming STEM future college student night at the local science center. The events keep on coming and I’m just taking things one day at a time. It is a little overwhelming at times, but still good.

This past week, I had the opportunity to go to Nashville, TN to participate in the annual NACADA conference. This was my first conference with NACADA at the national level and I’m happy to say that I was extremely happy with my experience. I had the opportunity to meet so many people from Twitter conversations about Academic Advising. It was truly wonderful to put a face and smile with that name.

The conference took place at Opryland. It was kind of like a small city in a bubble. They had shops and restaurants within the bubble. Unfortunately, they did not allow outside deliveries (pizza) and the restaurant food there was ridiculously priced.  Here are some pics:

The House

Lots of drama happened with the house in the past month. I was not being communicated with in a proper fashion from the sales and lending offices of Pulte. After this was communicated with them, nothing changed. So, I asked about my options for walking away from the home. I did not have a moving date. My apartment lease was up on November 1st and they had already rented out my place to someone else (couldn’t extend). I was told by a manager that they would not let me walk away and would keep my earnest money. Additionally, they said that I was in breach of contract and they had the power to cancel the deal and keep my money if they so pleased. This made me furious. After some nasty grams went out, I received a series of phone calls and got my final date information. I still do not trust Pulte homes to meet their deadlines because they have not been very responsible with me up until this point. But, with all things said, I am planning to move on October 31st of this year. My parents are coming out the day before to help with the move. Should be fun, no? Here’s the house now..

So, a lot’s been done since the last time. The most recent addition is the roof and driveway. Slowly, but surely, this will be my home. And along with the home comes a new puppy! My boss recently took in a puppy, but has decided that his current situation is not conducive to having a puppy around. So….once I move, Leo will be joining my family. Leo is about 2 months old and is a Yorkie. Pics will come as soon as I have them!

Guys:

Some updates on guys. I’m currently dating. I’m not sure if it is going anywhere. But, I will relax and enjoy the moments that I do have with him. I’ve noticed that I tend to run when things start to become “official.” I still have that urge, but I’m giving myself time  to get over it.

Weight loss:

This is the bad news. I’ve stalled out a bit. I still run (and the dating guy runs with me). However, my eating habits have gone down the drain a bit. With the exercise, my weight has maintained. I’m happy that I’ve maintained (still in the 210’s), but now it is time to finish the mission. To take a cue from what I tell my students, you NEED to SET A GOAL. Even a small goal. Small goals lead to big goals. So, to get myself back on track:

Eat only meals that you buy at a grocery store for one week. The meals will be the old diet plan. Slim Fast, Oatmeal, and Lean Cuisine. If you do need to eat out, have a salad.

Welcome back, Joe

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Defeated? ….nah

Hey everyone! It’s been a bit. 🙂

The trail end of last week was a bit of a blur at work when trying to wrap up the camp related details. Even through the exhaustion, I kept going on my runs. I found a marathon training guide online which outlines the weekly running goals. The goal for the first week was a five mile run on a Saturday. I felt up to that challenge!

So, I used Google maps to plot out a roughly five mile course and decided to go for it on Saturday morning. Friday night, I started developing intense pains in my stomach/intestine area. I’m not sure if it was food poisoning or not, but the only other thing that was new in the diet was some trail mix at the office. I wonder if that’s what started this whole thing. I barely slept that night because of the pain and it continued on until the next day. Totally did a number of my digestive system. Even feeling like that, I decided to give the run a go. I checked the weather the day before, and it was only supposed to get to 100 here in Phoenix, so I figured a mid-day run would be great. It was kind of odd running the grid system in the city. I drive it just about every day, but it gave me a good sense of how large everything really is.

Long story short, I didn’t make it. But, I made it pretty far before I had to stop and walk (4.5 miles).  The sun took it right out of me and I was running on fumes. Apparently I had miscalculated the distance and had an extra mile of walking just to get home. That was the longest walk of my life and I was absolutely drenched with sweat. This learned me two lessons: One: Don’t run when you’re potentially sick. Two: Running in mid-day in the Valley of the Sun during summer sucks!

I felt defeated a bit. Why couldn’t I hold out for five miles? I’m assuming some of it was the sun, heat, and illness. However, I still think that there is more here. My low calorie diet doesn’t give me much energy for running. I feel like I need to make a choice.  Keep going on the weight loss diet or start eating more to give myself energy for longer runs. I don’t know what to do. Maybe keep losing till I reach my goal weight and then start eating for performance?

Oh yeah, I forgot the weigh-in for the 15th. 211 lbs. I’m making progress! Though part of me wonders if the loss is due to the illness. Who knows?

In other life events…

The house roughly looks the same as last week. I went with two of my buds in the area and they gave me some great pointers on what to expect as the house nears completion. Apparently drywalling and even the roof is about to go up. We even can spot the shower and tubs already in place. Kinda neat!

I decided to cut The Running Partner out of my life. Good guy, but I need and deserve someone who is able to effectively communicate with me. Sucks that I had to do it by text message, but I felt as if it was the only way he might be able to chat, if at all. I know the guy for me is out there somewhere and I’ll find him when the time is right. In the meantime, I’m taking boyfriend applications! 🙂

I’m going to be visiting home from Sept. 2-8th. I can’t wait to see my family! Here’s hoping my dog still likes to cuddle up at night. 🙂

I’m going to be visiting Nashville in early October for an Academic Advising national conference. Let’s see how the diet holds up while I’m there. It’s always been a struggle to keep a diet when traveling, but I think I’m slowly learning.

 

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It’s Alive (my home)!


The latter half of the week has been pretty decent as far as my diet was concerned. The only small cheat was on Friday when one of my colleagues brought in some donuts and I had 1/2 of a donut. Not the end of the world, but they were from my favorite place and it was delicious. As there is a 5K tomorrow, I did not want to over exert myself with running in the past two days. However, I did make daily visits to the pool to still get in some light exercise.

This morning was a bit of an odd event. My friends tweeted me about going for a hike on “A Mountain” with Chris Powell. Chris is from the Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition. When my roomie and I were working out last week, we randomly started watching the show. Since I saw him on TV, I figured it couldn’t hurt to go check him out with some friends while getting some exercise as well.

Even though he was plugging his products a bit more than I was hoping for…he did still have a great message. Transforming yourself is not just about diet and exercise. It is about integrity and keeping promises to yourself. For some reason, this really resonated with me. You can’t do this for family or loved ones. You have to be selfish in your pursuit. Give yourself a chance to be loved by loving yourself first.

Seeing all sorts of people beginning their own journeys on this day really struck home for me. These people wanted to change their lives. Part of me wondered if they would be able to do it…this time or at all. The mountain we were hiking on had two sides (beginning and advanced). I saw so many people trying for the advanced side who would get winded on a flight of stairs. I know because this used to be me. Why do people push themselves beyond their limits when starting such a journey? These things have to be worked towards. If you want to run a marathon, you build up to it over time.  Sadly, I saw so many out of shape people throwing up from just walking up the trail. Start slow people and have a good time with what you do. Throwing up on a mountain is likely not going to make you want to go back! Thankfully, everyone was okay.

I was going to wait around for a personal picture with Chris, but the line was a bit long and it was very hot. So, I got in my car and went to check out my house. This is what I found:

The entire frame is almost done! I’m so happy with this house at the moment. I can’t wait to see it again next weekend. Earlier, I could only visualize where rooms would be. Now, I can actually see the space and I know that I will be living here in only a few short months.

Tonight is supposed to be a meteor shower of sorts. I originally wanted The Running Partner to join me to watch a few at night, but I’m not feeling up for it. With the race tomorrow, I know that watching it with him would lead into a late night when I need a good night’s rest for the run in the morning. He is supposed to join me for the run tomorrow, but I doubt he will get up in time or be on time. He hasn’t really been on time for anything since we’ve met. Part of me wants to run this solo to see if I can beat my own time. Part of me just doesn’t want to deal with guys right now.

I have a bit of a camping trip for work this coming Monday through Wednesday. I may have internet access to do a post or two, but I’m unsure if I’ll be able to blog.

Things I’m PROMISING myself for camp:

1) Get some meal replacement bars and use those instead of the camp food.

2) Go for a run in the morning of day 2. Invite campers to join you.

3) Remember to have the time of your life!

 

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